What I lost the most

The person I lost the most would be my mother. She past away eleven years ago. We weren’t always close we had our disagreements but she was my closest friend not only my mom. I was able to tell her anything. When she was eighteen she was diagnosed with diabetes and in 2000 she was diagnosed with having cancer. She also had heart problems with all that she did a pretty good job raising me and my brother. As I said I may not have agreed with everything, like boys I dated the man I married (even though she was right in the end but I wouldn’t have the five wonderful kids I have). I lost my mom in 2002 in December four months after my oldest daughter was born. She had started going into a diabetic shock and her blood sugar was high. I had done what the doctors had told me to do by giving her, her insulin to lower it. But when the paramedics got there they had to put a mask on her face to help her to breathe she was on my lap when the did this and I saw her eyes as they rolled back and she took her last gasp of breath. She didn’t make it to the hospital alive. I lost her there in my parents old house. My father moved out we all tried to move on but my depression got worse I no longer wanted to be a doctor or a nurse. I quit school for nursing and moved out of state for awhile to clear my head. I didn’t have the one person to talk things out when I had problems. I didn’t have the person to call 50 million times a day and not have nothing really to talk about but just wanted to hear my voice. Even though it has been eleven years I still miss her dearly.


Today wasn’t a good day. From taking the wrong medication last night and not being able to sleep for about fifteen hours or so to having a flat tire. Thank goodness my fiance was able to rescue me and fix my tire while I was at work and drive the girls to their Girl Scout event. For those who are here to read a story here is my story some is fictional some of it is true experience. Those who know me well will know what is true and what is not.



How does an event in life change a person? I wonder that question for years. Does events from my past make me weaker or stronger than I was? Did the friends I make help me become stronger in character. Many nights I lied awake at two in the morning when the kids were not fighting and yelling when it was the quietest time to think. I would write my story given the events in my life but adding a fictitious twist to it. Why write it I said, mostly to get it out to speak out to say that yes one can get away from abuse. So I wrote it to tell a story of another who got away from abuse, and fought against it stood up for it. This doesn’t end in a tragic ending of a lonely woman this story ends in two people finding a different kind of love, a love of a friend, a “Best Friend”. This story is about a woman getting away from abuse and a man finding out that a woman can be his best friend and the woman of his dreams, even if she has kids already. It’s a story about Jonathan Scott, a lonely guy who hasn’t found the right woman granted he has the looks handsome tall muscular body, soft skin, gorgeous deep brown eyes. That would cause any girl to fall in love with him in a second. He just couldn’t be tied down afraid of commitment. Jonathan from the south grew up and spent most of his time there but traveled from time to time, where he would meet other women for pure pleasure was the obvious. Then he met her, Crystal, just an ordinary house mom trying to get ahead she made him laugh and they talked and joke she was different nothing like the other women. She held secrets he could tell, but she trusted him and confided in him.

I am one to believe there is no love at first sight but I can’t believe in friendship at first sight and they had it, Jonathan and Crystal had become close friends. But what is a best friend compare to just a friend? Is a best friend someone who is there no matter what that will stand up for you, someone to bail you out of jail? I hope in this story you find out just like I did what a true friend is no matter what.

More to come soon….

In the Midst…

I enjoyed both and most all of these as they not only giving me more inspiration for the lord but also a blessing of poetry.

through Him with Him in Him...

image via from the heart of j image via from the heart of j

Why wait until tomorrow…

to live the rising in the dying?

And how can we live the rising in the dying of (you fill in the blank: chronic illness, terminal illness, failed marriage, financial ruin, addictions, depression, the toxic stuff of life)?

By offering praise and thanksgiving…


For we exist to be the praise of His glory…

and we live the rising in the dying with a heart-knowing of the Resurrection.

Why wait until tomorrow…

to live the rising in the dying?

“We were indeed buried with him through baptism into death, so that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might live in newness of life.  For if we have grown into union with him through a death like his, we shall also be united with him in the resurrection.

View original post 3 more words

“When I am writing, I am trying to find out who I am.”

When I get writer’s block I read one of her stories.

The Daily Post

Maya Angelou by Spanglej, CC BY-SA 2.0.Maya Angelou by Spanglej, CC BY-SA 2.0.

Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning.

Find a beautiful piece of art. If you fall in love with Van Gogh or Matisse or John Oliver Killens, or if you fall love with the music of Coltrane, the music of Aretha Franklin, or the music of Chopin — find some beautiful art and admire it, and realize that it was created by human beings just like you, no more human, no less.

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.

The idea is to write it so that people hear it and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart.

When I am writing, I am trying to find out who I am, who we are, what we’re capable of, how…

View original post 503 more words


Hi, I am not sure yet what my blogs are going to be about yet? I want somewhere I can write and someone can read or hear my stories. I have always loved writing but hated grammar.  🙂 Sometimes I will use my phone as I my have a great ideal for a blog story and I didn’t bring my computer with me so please don’t hate me if something looks wrong lol. I will do my bezt keep the grammar errors out as they have become an Obsession of mine (a wicked lol). But I hope to write some enjoyable interesting stories for all. I might even throw in a few tips and points. Good night.